an uncommon calm fills the hole that hustle & bustle dug
You cant help but feel just a little bit satisfied with yourself.
Cuz you have thrown every inch of you into that fire,
and you didn't perform perhaps as well as you would have liked,
but baby you gave it your all.
and that is what matters.
Okay, prepare yourself for non-edited word throw-up: I am exhausted. my whole mind feels like it is asleep. My body just wants me to be more active I think. I started studying flashcards while running. Thats how limited on time I've been lately. I've been guilty of turning down most dates to try to focus. Focusing on getting though, doing well, reaching my goals. And you know, that makes me happy, yes. Moving fills me with joy. But, without people around me, and without feeling like I am helping in some way or meeting people, or loved by people.... I get a bit lost and crazy, and disheveled, and selfish? or maybe just so determined I forget to look around at all dem people who could be running along side me.
So during finals week I opened myself up to doing things. Going on a few dates, hanging out with some old friends, spending time with new friends, and you know what... It has been fantastic. Yeah, there is a bit of my mind constantly screaming at me that these things aren't as productive- but there is my heart bellowing back that these things are what I am going to remember. I think that in and of itself says something.
We went to the beautiful Olympic Park in park city and it was absolutely incredible. Metal slides down a mountain, ziplines, tubing, frefalling falls, rock climbing, and rope courses.... it was so outside of the norm for me this summer, and I honestly.... I loved it. I loved how it got me doing new things, exploring new territory, deepening friendships, focusing on other people, just being adventurous and not being in the lab trying to work my mind. It was a Saturday of winding down, before finals come a screechin around the corner. Man, I love people way more than tests.
