Wellp I've never wanted anything this much. Perhaps das cuz I felt those other things were handed to me. I knew I could go on a mission, I knew I would go to college, I knew I could get into the GD program, I knew that I could finish a marathon.... But this... This is something I do not know I can have. It is something that depends totally on my actions and choices. Das why I get so stressed out about tests now. Those itty bitty numbers will be directly proportional to if I will be able to do something I feel this overwhelming desire to do.
When I set my mind to something, I will do whatever it takes to get that thing. Dat don't mean I need it right there and then... but if I want something bad enough– I believe that I can in one way or another I'll be able to get it. But, I don't have total control over getting this baby. And wanting to be a nurse this bad makes me feel vulnerable and a bit nervous.
What do I want to do with nursing? Good question. I wanna get reeeeal good at it. I mean real good. To the point where I'd be confident in any situation. I want to work with families. Kids. People in serious need. And then I want to travel to places that I could help others with serious needs- disaster areas, refugee camps, or poverty-stricken towns. I want to help them, and I want to share their stories. So many people want to be heard, and imma starting to believe I can make that happen.
I can't think of a more fulfilling life than that.
It's a fresh idea, yes. But just like a new crush, that fire can just bring you to life inside. That desire to become a nurse gives me energy, hope and an uncanny willingness to sacrifice.
p.s. Fun fact: In high school I didn't consider being a nurse,
1. because I thought that I would have found my soul mate and run off into the wilderness by now. Our house would have been crafted out of gopher-wood, gumdrops n' kisses.
2. because no one really suggested it. Art was mah nitch. I loved it and I was good at it. Why tryn find something else to do instead?
3. orrrrrr maybe it was cuz I knew 0 nurses/people in the healthcare field.
I hope all of these hours and everything... will bring me good fruitz. What sucks is knowing maybe Ill out so many dreams and hours into something that could maybe possibly not happen. Gah, scary thought.
Okay last truth to inspire your rocking weekend; The more work we put into something, the more we love it.
HAYAAAAA THAT IS MY TOE. #superflexibletalent #jkIwasrestingitonatable #ipretendimaninjawhenImhomealonefridaynights
