Even if you know it is right... you know it is necessary.... you know it just needs to happen....
It, nevertheless, can be suffocating.
"Breakups are fun," said no one ever.
When you breakup, you're agreeing to turn your back on someone you care for.
You agree to let someone you care about slip away.
That insinuates starting over and trying to forget, or at least come to terms with your new reality. It means being vulnerable and hurt, but confronting the fact that, perhaps it wasn't mutual... Perhaps I was the only invested one.
Maybe they don't have to struggle through the change like I do.
How ghastly a thought.
But regardless.
This is me.
And I care.
So thus, I shall feel the pain of caring.
Is it worth it? Being so invested if things don't work out?
I don't know.
But I do know that feeling like this (which is not fun<-understatement) is a whole lot better than not feeling at all. And time does tend to ease change as "new" becomes "commonplace" and memories are filed away into dusty drawers.
*And with a sigh. I slap myself for pitying me*
Perceive, little one, the hand of the Lord is in all of this.
And now to attempt, for the umpteenth time, to stop thinking so much about me.
and move on.
