Here's my shoutout to mono.

Dear people of the internet.
If you have not had the utmost pleasure of contracting mononucleosis, aka the kissing disease, aka the Epston Barr virus, you have missed out. This is what you have missed out on. Feverish and sleepless nights, throat glands that swell to the size of turnips, a head that feels halfway like floating away and halfway like exploding, a stomach that is forever unsettled, eyes that are sensitive to the light, and a body that doesn't even have the energy to talk, eat, or get into bed, on top of that, your food, all food, tastes disgusting (excluding lemon popsicles and saltines). That is the state of someone with Mono, every day it gets a little bit worse.

Basically you feel like a soggy blob, or what you imagine being terribly sickly and old feels like.