Blah Blah Blah Believe in yourself and more Blabberings

Be warned- I am writing this just to get my thoughts out. It is not edited or organized, just a spaghetti roll of ideas and streams of words. So, go make yourself a nice taco and buckle up, or just read the title and call it good cuz this is gonna be a long one.

So it has been decided.
I am returning this Saturday, back to Utah, back to the basics, back to becca, back home. Initially I was way bummed about the whole thing. Mostly because so many of mah people and adventure amigos are associated with my ex and I don't think it would be wise to hang out with them, because he would be there. So for his and my sanity, I will make some new friends. I have been learning about the stories we tell ourselves, and how those become our truth. For example I told myself "I am a bad driver" all the time growing up, and only when I started saying "Alissa, you are an amazing driver and are incredibly competent on the roads" Did I start to actually feel that way and drive better! OR "Alissa holy cow you suck at cooking. You need to make enough money so you can hire someone to cook for your family otherwise your kids are going to starve." And over time I changed that to "Wow, food is the bomb diggety. I love food, I enjoy cooking because it makes everyone, including me happy- The more I do it the more I love it." and now I can cook more than toast and I don't gag every time I try to bake chicken.

Which is basically a miracle.

So I have realized some of the stories I have been telling myself about moving back to Utah could use a little botox, so here are some of the more recent adjustments
"I am backtracking and will not find enough new cool people to feel like I am in a good social circle."
"I am dope at making friends, and there are SO MANY people in Provo who are looking to improve and who would love to have me around, and would be interested in doing things like climbing up rocks with me. Cool." 

"my old friends will think I ditched my dreams and succumbed to a desk job future"
"You know inside this move was right. You have grown so much, and come to find God again. You know who you are and have a fresh take on life. You don't have to apologize to anybody or defend your decisions. Let the world think what it wants, you can think about other things, like how absolutely amazing it is that you have this opportunity. 


And just like that, my attitude about the whole thing has been shifting. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves dictate our reality. They determine what we believe is possible, and what BECOMES possible. So If I believe that I can become a nurse, I have decided that I will, and I am going to do everything so that it happens, IT WILL happen, simple as that. Its all a matter of mastering our thoughts, and conditioning ourselves to think our dreams into fruition.

Believe in yourself
and the world will believe you.
The end.