I feel a little bit betrayed.
Its not that I don’t wish you happiness, I do. Scratch that, most of me wants you to be happy, but not with her. Seeing you with her sucks… a hecka lot. Because it was me who said no, not you. It was me who wasn’t ready, not you. And you believed me when I said I wouldn’t feel anything for you… anything romantic because I believed it too. But I haven’t dated any body since them- not steadily. I haven’t been able to. And I hate that. And I hate that I know her name and that she’s nice and cute and everything, because I don’t want to like her. But I think I would if I knew her.
You know me better than everybody and the sacrifice of loosing a friend like that… it’s a crater. I’m still in love with the idea of you and that is why I take you leaving, so exceptionally personally. I still long to hear your song and laugh with you, carefree.
But tell you? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Because I don’t want you to turn away from her because of me. I don’t want to plant that doubt. Or that seedling of what if there is something else around the corner. Nope. So………
Silence it is. and making this tumblr account for me and no body
